自律SELF-DISCIPLINE
⾃律SELF-DISCIPLINE
帮你培养持久⾃律【上】
“佛与凡⼈的唯⼀区别就是⾃律。”
——乌⾦杜古仁波切(1920 - 1996)（佛教冥想⼤师）
“The only difference between Buddhas and ordinary beings is
discipline.”
- Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche (1920 - 1996) a great Buddhist meditation master.
在听到“⾃律”这个词的时候，你是否想到⽇本武⼠，少林和僧⼈？是否想到职业球员或武装⼠兵？你是否觉得⾃律只适于少数鞠躬尽瘁、坚不可摧的⼈？事实并⾮如此。
这篇⽂章是帮助建⽴持久⾃律的导航。并⾮只持续⼀两周的⾃律，⽽是贯穿你⼀⽣的⾃律。⼀旦养成，任何事情都会成为可能。这指南基于我从许多⼈那⾥获得的建议，他们都是善于⾃律的成功⼈⼠。⽽我还差得很远。
When you hear the word “discipline” do you think of Samurais, Shaolin Warriors and Buddhist Monks? Do you think about professional football players or perhaps members of the armed forces? Do you feel like it is something that is reserved only for a few dedicated and extremely tough individuals? Well it isn’t.
This post is the complete guide to developing self-discipline that lasts. Not self-discipline that lasts one or two weeks. Discipline that lasts your entire life. Once you have developed this, anything is possible. The guide is based on lessons and tips I have learned from many successful people who have mastered self discipline. I, however, have a long way to go.
⾸先，我们为什么缺乏⾃律意识
⼀个⼈想要实现⾃⼰的⽬标或理想，需要具备什么？答案：⾃律。当然，肯定要有贵⼈相助、资⾦和个⼈能⼒，但最终还是要⾃律。没有了⾃律，你的成功等式就不可能成⽴。每⼀位成功⼈⼠都具有这项品质。那么我们为什么会缺乏⾃律意识呢？
答案很简单。根本就⽆需任何顶尖的科学家来回答。
我们都被宠坏了。
没错，我们都被宠坏了。不要埋怨我，我没有针对任何⼈的意思。我的意思是，作为⽂化元，我们普遍都被宠坏了。清闲时电视，寂寥时有因特⽹，失落时有酒，还有⼀笔⼩⼩的钱供我们娱乐时享⽤。我们真的被宠坏了。这就叫即时满⾜。我的意思并⾮在座的每个⼈过得都很舒适，⾄少你不是。你们当中许多⼈都担负着巨额抵押贷款，也有⼉⼥要茁壮成长。这样的⽣活⼗分不易。其实，你可能低估了你的⾃律意识。
我之所以说我们被宠坏了，并不是为了想让你有罪恶感或⽆地⾃容。我只是为了
强调⼀个事实，那就是除了⼯作和家庭，我们的处境还不赖。想娱乐⼀下，只需按个按钮；想要点吃的，就去超市；想点乐⼦，就去……（答案你是知道的）我们已逐渐习惯于迅速接受新事物。⽽当我们的梦想、⽬标还有志向跟不上周围的步伐的时候，我们便会逐渐失去动⼒。我们不再约束⾃⼰。毕竟，若我们可以选择看电视，⼲嘛还要去⼲那些费⼒费时的⼯作呢？即时享乐的想法如此之迅速。
Why we lack self-discipline in the first place
What is the one thing a person needs to attain their goals and dreams? Self-discipline. Sure there might be a place for influential contacts, money and natural ability but in the end it comes down to discipline. It is the one part of the “success equation” that you cannot do without. Every great person has possessed it. So why are we lacking in
self-discipline?
Well, the answer is actually p retty simple. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work it out.
We are all spoiled.
That’s right. Spoiled. Now don’t go an get all offended on me. I am not personally attacking anyone. I am saying that in general, as a culture, we are a pretty spoiled bunch. We have televisions to occupy us, internet social sites to keep us connected, alcohol to numb our depression and a fair amount of money to spend on short term entertainment. We are pretty spoiled. It is called instant gratification.
I am not saying tha t everyone here has it easy. You don’t. Many of you (I know because you email me) have mortgages the size of Everest and children to feed. This is not an easy life. Far from it. In fact, you might already have more discipline than you think!
The reason I say that we are spoiled is not to make you feel guilty or ashamed. It is to highlight the fact that, other than the things like work and family, we have it pretty easy. When we want to be entertained we just flick a button. When we want some food we just go to the supermarket. When we want to be satisfied we just… well… you know…We have grown accustomed to getting things quickl
y. And when our dreams, goals and ambitions don’t come as quick as everything else we lose motivation. We lose self-discipline. After all, why would we work on something that is arduous and difficult when we could be watching TV? Instant is so much quicker.
为什么获得成功和幸福的必要条件是⾃律
是，我得承认⼀点，即时满⾜的感觉不错。我和每个⼈⼀样都想好好享⽤⼀顿⼤餐，但那样真的就满⾜了吗？那样就能让你的奢望从此烟消云散吗？
恐怕不是……
AIGD
事实是，即时满⾜只会让你更为不快。早晚有⼀天，它不会再满⾜你的需求，进⽽你会需要更⼤更好的事物来令你满⾜。⽽当那些也失去吸引⼒的时候，你会需要再⼤⼀些的……最终，你会像许多富⼈⼀样⾯临中年危机，因为到那时你的⽣活已变得极度空虚。跑车估计是AIGD（Advanced Instant Gratification Disorder 现代即时满⾜紊乱）的极端标志。通过它你可以轻易的重温⾃⼰的年轻时光——那时的我们是如此的容易满⾜。
开始⾃我约束吧。
如果我们能多⼀点⾃律，为⼀些真正有意义的事情努⼒⼯作的话，我们的⽣活会是什么样⼦呢？如果我们选择努⼒⼯作，是否会⽐选择即时满⾜更加快乐？我敢说这是肯定的。
Why we need self-discipline to be successful and happy
Okay, I’ll admit it. Instant gratification is pretty good. I like a good
drive-through meal as much as the next person. But is it truly satisfying? Does it forever quench your desire leaving you in a permanent state of bliss?
Not really…
AIGD
In fact, instant gratification makes you more unhappy. Sooner or later that instant gratification will not satisfy you and you will need something bigger and better to make you feel good right away. And when that loses its appeal you are going to need something bigger again. Finally, as often happens to many wealthy adults, you have a midlife crisis because your life is so god damned hollow. The new sports car is probably the ultimate symbol of AIGD (advanced instant gratification disorder) -it’s quick attempt to recapture one’s youth, a time in your life when gratification was so much simpler.
Enter self-discipline.
How would our life be if we had more self-discipline and were able to work towards and achieve things that really meant something to us? Would we be happier if we chose hard work over instant gratification? I am betting so.
主⽇学校与⾃我约束
我还得澄清⼀点。我并没有将⾃我约束与你12岁时在主⽇学校学到的东西等同起来。我的意思也不是说因为享乐与⾃满是魔⿁的⼯具⽽控制⾃⼰的冲动。⾃律与罪恶、羞耻或宗教⽆关。主⽇学校⽼师肯定也讲过AIGD，但那完全是另⼀码事。
我所指的⾃律，是通过内在的意志⼒来做出对⾃⾝更有益的选择。在这种情形下，你凭感知来决定你要为实现某⼀⽬标努⼒⼯作⽽不因“临时”状况⽽分⼼。我所指的⾃律是形成⼀种意识，在这种意识之下专注于并且完成某⼀事物。
Sunday School and self-discipline
Before I go on I need to clear something up. When I say self-discipline I am not talking about the kind that your Sunday School teacher taught you when you were 12. I am not saying that you need to con
trol your impulses because pleasure and gratification and the Devil’s tools.
Self-discipline is not about guilt or shame or religion. Sure, the Sunday School teacher might have been preaching about
AIGD but that is another story entirely.
The self-discipline I am talking about is the kind where you use your internal will power to choose something better for yourself. It is where you cognitively decide that you are going to work towards a goal and achieve that goal without being sidetracked by “instant” distractions. The self-discipline I am speaking of is all about developing a mentality where you can fix your mind on something and achieve it.
我们为何需要⾃律
原因很简单——所有值得追求的⽬标都需要⾃律才能实现。⼈们所要实现的⼀些很普遍的⽬标⽆⾮是：
·减肥与节⾷
·更加健康
·开悟
·获得学位及其他资格证书
·冥想
·帮助他⼈
·等等
所有这些追求都需要⾃律。没有⾃律就不可能减掉体重，没有⾃律就不可能接受⼤学教育。你能想到的所有那些想达到或为之奋⽃的⽬标，都需要相当程度的⾃律来帮助实现。这也是我们应该培养⾃律意识的原因。
Why we need it
The reason we need self-discipline is simple. Everything that is worthwhile achieving takes discipline to achieve. Think about the most common goals that people have:
Fat loss and dieting
Better fitness
Enlightenment
College degrees and other qualifications
Meditation
Helping people
Etc.
All of these pursuits take self-discipline. It is impossible to lose weight with out self-discipline. It is impossible to get a college education without self-discipline. Anything that you can think of that you would like to achieve or work towards will take a large amount of self-discipline to pull off. And that is why we need to develop more of it.
帮你培养持久⾃律【中】
如何形成持久的⾃律意识
我已经谈过我们为何缺乏⾃律意识，⼜为何需要培养⾃律意识。现在我想回到这篇指南的中⼼内容，来谈谈如何培养⾃律意识。请记住，⾃律不可能凭空产⽣，⽽是需要时间和勇⽓去培养。但结果会证明所付出的努⼒是值得的。
How to develop self-discipline that lasts
Now that I have talked about why we are lacking in self-discipline and why we need self-discipline I want to get on to the core of the guide and talk about how we can go about developing it. Remember,
self-discipline is not something that you can whip up out of thin air. It takes a long time and a lot of courage to develop. But the results are well worth the effort.
1. 列出短期与长期的动机，并维持下去
你若想培养⾃律意识，动机⾄关重要。看看巴莱克·奥巴马式的⼈物——接连数⽉致⼒于总统竞选，你会发现好动机不可⽆。
若没有好的动机，恐怕奥巴马议员到如今早已失败或放弃。这对于任何⼀个长期致⼒于某⼀项⼯作的⼈来说都是如此。
短期动机则是基本的，像有⾜够的钱养家糊⼝，或及时助⼈。这些⼩事随时随地都会发⽣，但问题是不能持久。你若想要培养⾃律意识，你还得有⼀个长期动机。⼀旦到这样的动机，就要细⼼呵护它。你若想为他⼈的利益⽽奋⽃，可千万不要想过之后就忘得⼀⼲⼆净，⽽是要时刻提醒⾃⼰。当前⾏的路变得艰难时，就想⼀想你在为何⽽战。这么做可以让你坚定决⼼，继续投⼊与⼯作中。
Now that I have talked about why we are lacking in self-discipline and why we need self-discipline I want to get on to the core of the guide and talk about how we can go about developing it. Remember,
self-discipline is not something that you can whip up out of thin air. It takes a long time and a lot of courage to develop. But the results are well worth the effort.
1. Find short term and long term motivation and work on it
Motivation is essential if you want to develop self-discipline. If you look at someone like Barack Obama who has been on the Presidential campaign trail for months now, you will see that a good motivation is something you cannot do without. Senator Obama would have fizzled out and quit by now if he did not have an excellent motivation. The same is true of anyone who has been working towards something for an extended amount of time.
Short term motivation is something basic like having enough money to feed your family or doing something because it is going to help someone right away. These motivations are easy to come by but they have a problem - they don’t last. If you want to develop self-discipline you need a motivation in the long term as well.
Once you have found that motivation it is then important to cultivate it. If you decide you want to work for the benefit of others don’t just think about it once and then forget it. Remind yourself of it all the time. When things get tough try to remember why you are doing it. If you do this you can strengthen your mind and your resolve and stay focused on your task.
2. 出可以给你灵感的⼈物去模仿
有时我们会失控，有时⾝边的⼀切将我们打到让我们感觉⽆法继续前⾏。实在是太难了。这个时侯我们需要⼀个榜样，这个时侯我们要问⼀句：“巴菲会怎么做呢？”
嗯，吸⾎⿁巴菲可能确实不能算做最好的榜样选择⽬标，但管他们呢！如果你是个积极向上的“吸⾎⿁”，那巴菲就成了好形象了。
在你⼯作的环境中个榜样确实值得考虑。⼀些典例（请原谅这⾥过多提到的通俗⽂化英雄）：
·
道德：⽢地，特⾥萨
·武术：李⼩龙，李连杰，菩提达摩，幽灵狗
·财富：沃伦·布⾮，⽐尔·盖茨，欧普拉·温芙蕾，MC海默
·政治：亚伯拉罕·林肯，巴拉克·奥巴马，萨拉·帕林
·体育：迈克尔·乔丹，“⽼虎”伍兹，迈克尔·约翰逊
或许他们也并⾮都是好榜样，但你已经知道我的意思。在你⼼情沮丧的时候，想⼀想“（填⼊⼈物的名字）会怎么做”，然后按照那个答案照做。两⼈智慧胜⼀⼈嘛。
2. Find some inspirational figures to imitate
Sometimes we lose control. Sometimes the world breaks us down and
we feel like we can’t go on. It is all too hard. It is times like these that we need someone to look up to. It is times like these we need to ask, “What would Buffy do?”
Okay, so maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not the best inspiration figure to pick, but, each to their o
wn! If you are an aspiring Vampire Slayer than Buffy is an extremely good figure. It is a good idea to find an inspiration figure in the field that you are working in. Some examples might be (please excuse the excessive use of pop-culture heros): ?Ethics: Gandhi, Mother Teresa
Martial Arts: Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Bodhidharma, Ghost Dog
Wealth: Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, MC Hammer
Politics: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin
Sport: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Michael Johnson
Okay so not all of them are good examples either. But you get the idea. When you feel down in the dumps it is fantastic to think “what would [insert hero] do” and then rely on that judgment. Sometimes two heads are better than one.
3. 让“反增法”来帮你
你应该还记得我在这篇指南前⾯部分提到过，即时满⾜⾮但不能满⾜你反⽽会促使你去寻进⼀步的“刺激”。这就叫滚雪球效应，在者中很普遍。但如果你知道如何应⽤，他反⽽可以帮你⽽⾮害你。
我们称之为“反增法”，跟冥想很相像。要求很简单：若即时满⾜在促使你寻更进⼀步的满⾜，你把以上说法反过来⽤即可。
下次在⼯作中⼜想看电视的时候，多坚持五分钟，⽽不是像往常那样起⾝投⼊沙发的怀抱。如果这个能做到，那下次就努⼒坚持六分钟。每次⼀要分⼼的时候就这样做。
这样⼀来，你就会不断增加⾃⼰的优秀品质⽽⾮坏习惯，会增强⾃律意识。很快，“再坚持五分钟”不再困难，你已经步⼊养成持久⾃律的轨道。
3. Make reverse escalation work for you
Remember earlier on in this guide when I talked about how instant gratification doesn’t satisfy you but instead causes you to be more and more insatiable forcing you to look for bigger and better “hits”? Well it is called escalation and it is a common problem among addicts (coffee, alcohol, drugs). However, escalation can work for you instead of against you if you know how to do it.
It’s called reverse escalation and it is a lot like how meditation works. The principle is simple: if instant gratification makes you more likely to need some bigger form of gratification, then you can apply that theory in reverse.
Next time you are working on your primary goal and you feel like giving up and going to watch television, try holding out for five minutes longer where you would have normally just got up and crashed on the couch. If you can do that, then next time go for six minutes. Try this with every distraction that comes up.
What you will be doing is essentially escalating your good qualities instead of your bad ones. You are escalating the self-discipline. Soon “five minutes more” won’t seem that hard and you will be well on your way to developing a self-discipline that lasts.
帮你培养持久⾃律【下】
4. 养成习惯并坚守
习惯是个有⼒的词。养成持久⾃律的最好⽅法就是为⾃⼰设定常规。
我记得曾经有⼀位冥想者给我讲他在初级阶段受挫的故事。最后他绝望地向他的藏族冥想⼤师寻求建议。⼤师想了想，回答道：“习-惯——。”
“那是什么？”他仔细听⼤师讲，以为⼤师要告诉他冥想的奥秘。
“常-归——就是——⼀早⼀晚，”⼤师⽤⾃⼰蹩脚的英语说道。
“噢，是。我明⽩了，习惯。”
自律是什么意思习惯并⾮深奥，但它⼜的确是冥想的奥秘。其实它是⼀切事物的奥秘。你如果能够形成帮助你、⿎励你培养⾃律的习惯，那你正向成功迈进。
再⼀点，这不是什么尖端科学，⽽是帮助过许多伟⼈的事实。运动员有特定的训练时间，瑜伽修⾏者和修道⼠有每天的练习时间，等等。出适合⾃⼰的时间并且坚持下来，直⾄你的⾃律意识⾜够坚强，令你在不偏离轨道的前提下完成⼀次⼜⼀次突破。
4. Create a routine and stick to it
Routine is a powerful word. One of the best ways you can develop self-discipline that lasts is by giving yourself a routine.
I remember hearing a story from a meditation practitioner who was having trouble getting past the basic preliminarily stages. Finally he went to his Tibetan meditation teacher in sheer despair and asked him for some advice. His teacher thought for a moment and then replied, “Rou-teeeen”.
“What’s that?” he clarified with the master thinking he was about to be told the esoteric secret to meditation.

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