2021年1月浙江高考英语读后续写精深分析与同类训练
2021年1月浙江高考英语读后续写精深分析与同类训练
高考真题呈现
P u m p k i n(南瓜）c a r v i n g a t H a l l o w e e n i s a f a m i l y t r a d i t i o n.W e v i s i t a l o c a l f a r m e v e r y O c t o b e r.I n t h e p u mp k i n f i e l d,I c o m p e t e w i t h m y t h r e e b r o t h e r s a n d s i s t e r t o s e e k o u t t h e b i g g e s t p u m p k i n. M y d a d h a s a r u l e t h a t w e h a v e t o c a r r y o u r p u m p k i n s b a c k h o m e, a n d a s t h e e l d e s t c h i l d I h a v e a n a d v a n t a g e——I c a r r i e d a n85-p o u n d e r b a c k l a s t y e a r.
T h i s y e a r,i t w a s h a r d t o t e l l w h e t h e r m y p r i z e o r t h e o n e c h o s e n b y m y14-y e a r-o l d b r o t h e r,J a s o n,w a s t h e w i n n e r.U n f o r t u n a t e l y w e f o r g o t t o w e i g h t h e m b e f o r e t a k i n g o u t t h e i r i n s i d e s,b u t I w a s d e t e r m i n e d t o p r o v e m y p o i n t.A l l o f u s w e r e h a r d a t w o r k a t t h e k i t c h e n t a b l e,w i t h my m o m f i l m i n g t h e a n n u a l e v e n t.I'm u n s u r e n o w w h y I t h o u g h t f o r c i n g m y h e a d i n s i d e t h e p u m p k i n w o u l d s e t t l e t h e m a t t e r,b u t i t s e e m e d t o m a k e p e r f e c t s e n s e a t t h e t i m e.
W i t h t h e p u m p k i n r e s t i n g o n t h e t a b l e,h o l e u p p e r m o s t,I b e n t o v e r a n d p r e s s e d m y h e a d a g a i n s t t h e o p e n i n g. A t f i r s t I g o t j a m m e d j u s t a b o v e m y e y e s a
n d t h e n, a s I w e n t o n w i t h m y t a s k,u n w i l l i n g t o q u i t,m y n o s e b r i e f l y p r e v e n t e d e n t r y.F i n a l l y I m a n a g e d t o p u t m y w h o l e h e a d i n t o i t,l i k e a c o r k(软木塞）f o r c e d i n t o a b o t t l e.I w a s a b l e t o s t r a i g h t e n u p w i t h t h e h u g e p u m p k i n r e s t i n g o n m y s h o u l d e r s.
M y e x c i t e m e n t w a s s h o r t-l i v e d. T h e p u m p k i n w a s h e a v y. “I'm g o i n g t o s e t i t d o w n, n o w,"
I s a i d,a n d w i t h J a s o n h e l p i n g t o s u p p o r t i t s w e i g h t,I b e n t b a c k o v e r t h e t a b l e t o g i v e i t s o m e w h e r e t o r e s t. I t w a s o n l y w h e n I t r i e d t o r e mo v e m y h e a d t h a t I r e a l i z e d g e t t i n g o u t w a s g o i n g t o b e l e s s s t r a i g h t f o r w a r d t h a n g e t t i n g i n. W h e n I p u l l e d h a r d, m y n o s e g o t i n t h e w a y.
I g o t i n t o a p a n i c a s I p r e s s e d f i r m l y a g a i n s t t h e t a b l e a n d m o v e d m y h e a d a r o u n d t r y i n g t o f i n d t h e r i g h t a n g l e,b u t i t w a s n o u s e.“I c a n't g e t i t o u t!”I s h o u t e d,m y v o i c e s o u n d i n g u n n a t u r a l l y l o u d i n t h e e n c l o s e d s p a c e.
1.所续写的短文词数应为150左右；
2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
P a r a g r a p h1:
I t w a s f i v e o r s i x m i n u t e s t h o u g h i t f e l t m u c h l o n g e r.
P a r a g r a p h2:
T h e v i d e o w a s p o s t e d t h e M o n d a y b e f o r e H a l l o w e e n
试题分析
该文本既符合理论要求，也符合基本的命题规律，文本的选择更是十分新颖，贴近生活化，语言真实地道，表达精准。在有趣事件描述的背后体现了一种国外的文化生活，既有诗和远方也很接烟火气。高到跨文化交际的素养培养，低到原汁原味的生活场景的实际运用，充分体现了英语的考察侧重逐步向综合运用能力方面靠拢。
文本概要及六要素
从记叙文的六要素来看，本文主要是以第一人称来进行描述，回忆。具体如下。
语篇概要：在十月份的万圣节，一名少女的脑袋被卡在了南瓜中。引来网上的一片关注。
人物：作者一家人
时间：万圣节
事件：把头塞进南瓜里
地点：作者家里
起因：为证明自己的南瓜最大
结果：头塞入南瓜后拔不出出来，尝试了好多次无果
一般浙江省英语高考的续写可分为“C o nf l i ct-c en t e re d”和“C h an ge-c e nt e r e d”两类，而本次续写为前者。主要是以矛盾冲突为主，前期有冲突，作出各种铺垫，后期自然而然会是解决矛盾冲突为主，即最终解决冲突为写作的主要目的。接下来分析文本中出现的矛盾点或者伏笔以及可能的写作方向。
思维导图：
写作依据
读后续写的目的：读写结合，以读促写。当然阅读为辅，写作为主，那阅读的目的是什么？自然是为下文的写作提供一些背景材料，或者铺垫，作出一些伏笔。比如划线词的一些使用等等。请看具体描述。“Al l o f us w e re h a rd at w o r k a t t h e ki t c h en t ab l e, w i t h m y m o m fi l m i n g t h e an nu al ev e nt.”（我们所有人都在厨房里忙着，妈妈每年都会为一年一度的庆祝活动拍摄视频）为下文埋下伏笔，可知
续写的内容应该是我妈妈录下来这一切并发到了网上，正好与续写第二段开头
“t h e vi d e o”对应。“I'm u ns u r e no w wh y I t h o u ght f o rc i ng m y h e a d i n s i de t he
p um pk i n w ou l d s et t l e t h e m at t er,”（我不知道把我的脑袋塞到南瓜里会不会解决这个问题）同样也是为下文我的头塞进南瓜，拔不出来奠定基础。同时也为续写中寻外援奠定基础。“I b e nt o ve r a nd p r es s ed m y h e a d aga i n st t h e op en i n g.”（我弯下腰把脑袋伸进南瓜口）
T h e pu m p ki n w as he a v y.“I'm go i n g t o s et i t d ow n, n o w," I s a i d,an d wi t h J as on
h e l pi n g t o su pp o rt i t s w ei gh t,（南瓜太重了，需要J as on帮忙）
W h e n I p u l l e d ha r d, m y n o s e got i n t he w a y.I go t i n t o a p a ni c a s I p r e s s ed fi rm l y
a ga i ns t t h e t a bl e a nd m ov e d m y h e a d a ro u nd t r yi n g t o fi nd t h e ri gh t an gl e,
b ut i t w as n o us e.（尝试各种办法后，自救无果）等等方面的内容衔接融洽，环环相扣，思维逻辑发展缜密。为下文妈妈把视频传到网上求助埋下伏笔，写作的内容也是水到渠成，跃然纸上。期间的矛盾，冲突，高潮，情绪的变化等真实自然，引人走入一种情境中，脑海中呈现画面感。叙述有很强的代入感。
命题语言表达
语言一直是，真实自然，原汁原味，引人入胜，有很强的画面感。一种生活美的体验。各种情绪语言的表达也一直抓住读者的眼球。比如本文采用了一些动作描写“Fi n al l y I m a na ge d t o p ut m y w h ol e h e ad i nt o i t, l i k e a co r k (软木塞） f o r c ed
i nt o a bot t l e.”、“W h e n I p ul l ed h a rd, m y n o s e got i n t h e w a y. I go t i nt o a p an i c a s I p r e ss ed fi rm l y a ga i n st t he t a bl e a nd m o v ed m y h e a d a r oun d t r yi n g t o fi nd t he ri gh t a n gl e,”等。同时也运用了一些语法结构等高级句式，使得文本显得更加的有嚼劲。单词简单不是什么所谓的高级词汇，但是表达内容充分详实精准。值得后期朗读背诵分析。
优秀范文1
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. The air inside the hollow vegetable was full of my anxious breath. I could hear my sister’s laughter and Jason’s muffled voice talking about cuttin g the giant thing open. “No! Not my precious pumpkin!” I protested. Eventually, Dad helped me adjust my body to a more relaxed position, and pulled the pumpkin gently off my head. Hair in knots, nose and chain covered in pumpkin flesh, I let out a sigh of relief. That’s when I realized the camera had been rolling the whole time!The video was posted online the Monday before Halloween.I looked just like a pumpkin head in it. Embarrassed and a little annoyed, I fled to my room, but Mom stopped me. “You haven’t read the comments yet.” I scrolled down the screen and marveled at the stories the viewers shared about Halloween. One girl recalled celebrating it with her brothers and sisters, and thanked us for “bringing her home”. The words brought warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes. I felt lucky to be a part of this mischievous yet loving family. (171 words)
出彩表达积累（出自原文及范文）
1.hollow adj.中空的；空心的
2.muffled adj.沉闷的；模糊不清的
3.sigh n.叹气；叹息
4.marvel v.感到惊奇；大为赞叹
5.mischievous adj.顽皮的；捣蛋的
6.scroll down  向下滚动
7.Eventually, Dad helped me adjust my body to a more relaxed position, and pulled the pumpkin gently off my head.
最后，爸爸帮我把身体调整到一个比较放松的姿势，轻轻地把南瓜从我头上扯下来。（对动作的生动描写）8.The words brought warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes.
这些话温暖了我的心，使我热泪盈眶。（对神态的生动描写）
优秀范文2
It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.Jason suggested using a knife to cut the pumpkin open. I waved my hands wildly in protest at the plan. “Then you need to find a way of pulling yourself out.”
My dad said in a calm, cool voice. His voice settled my nerves. I was conscious that my nose was acting as an impediment to my escape. With stretching out my face and biting into the pumpkin, I surmounted the large obstacle and managed to pull my head out. A ripple of excitement ran through us but the first thing I saw was the camera.The video was posted online the Monday before Halloween. In the space of a week, it had been viewed over a million times. It filled Mom with greater astonishment. Rarely had a pumpkin’s video had so many hits as this one. Dangerous as it is, some viewers’ curiosity was too strong to resist. They left messages describing the feelings they had while watching it. Some laughed at me, while others praised my parents, who remained calm throughout. Looking through these reviews, the sunlight peeking through our window, Dad’s calm smile reflected his motto “All’s well with us, never fear”. (186 words)
出彩表达积累（出自原文及范文）
3. impediment n.妨碍；阻碍；障碍
4. surmount v.克服；解决
5. obstacle n.障碍；阻碍；绊脚石
6. ripple n.波纹；细浪；涟漪
7. His voice settled my nerves.  他的声音使我下来。（无灵主语）
2021万圣节是几月几日
8. It filled Mom with greater astonishment.这使母亲尤为惊讶。（对情绪的生动描写）
同语境类题训练
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。
After dinner I went to my friend’s home. My friend Nick and I had a long night walk, sharing earlier week readings from comics（连环漫画）to TV serials. It was 12:00 at night when I returned home. Today was Halloween. As I called out my parents, neither responded. Soon the doorbell rang. Suddenly a deep voice came from my heart, “It can be him!” The man whom I saw wanted help from me.
He was a beggar who died at the same day. As I started to walk down the stairs, the doorbell rang a thi
rd time. I seemed to see the shadow of the same beggar outside the window. As I tried to get out of the window, my legs were trying to pull me back. I was very frightened to open the door. As I opened the door, there was no one but only a letter on the doormat (垫子). I took the letter and was about to open it when the phone rang. I shut the door and felt my way towards the phone. I again saw the shadow of the beggar and this time he was not alone. He was with his family staring at me with a paper in his hand saying “Help” at the window.
When I picked up the phone, a man answered from the other end “Help him and you would be ” and the phone was hung up. I firstly thought this would be a trick of a friend. Now I was pretty terrified about what was going on.
I opened the letter kept on the doormat. It had an address printed on it—“356A Beckler Street, North Head, Mexico”. I took some money from my wallet and was going to give it to the beggar. I tip toed (蹑手蹑脚地走)  to the window. There was no one. I thought he might be living in the address written on the letter.
So I took out my bike and it was 2 o’clock at night. The weather was cold and joyful as the children were going to each other’s house to cele brate Halloween.
Paragraph 1:
As I reached the address, I found that
Paragraph 2:
I asked my friends why they called and scared me.

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