The Most Ridiculous Excuses For Skipping Work
令人捧腹：盘点奇葩请假理由
For the last 10 years, job listing site CareerBuilder has put out a list it calls “The Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling in Sick.” Last year an employee said he couldn’t come in because his false teeth flew out the window while he was driving down the highway. Another claimed that someone had glued her windows and doors shut so she couldn’t get out of her house. This year the excuses include a worker who said he felt he had to stay at a casino when he had money left after a gambling weekend. Then there was the employee who said she couldn’t come in because she had woken up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it. I like this one from a past survey: Employee said the ghost in his house kept him up all night.
据福布斯网站10月23日报道，过去十年里，美国凯业必达招聘网站都会晒出“最奇葩的请假理由”。去年有位男性员工的请假理由是“在高速上开车时，假牙飞出去了”，还有一位女性员工请假理由竟然是“有人把她的门窗用胶水黏住了，出不去”。今年的请假理由包括“周末在赌
场赌钱钱没用完，要继续赌”，“早上起来心情太好了，不想破坏好心情”等奇怪理由。而作者最喜欢13年一份调查中的理由：房子里有鬼害他整晚没睡着。
This year’s excuses were gathered through a Harris Poll that ran from Aug. 11 to Sept. 5, 2014, among 3,000 workers and 2,000 hiring managers.
哈里斯民意调查从3000名员工、2000名人事经理那里收集了2014年8月11日到9碳水化合物食物一览表月5日间的请假理由。
The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the office. But if you just want to stay home, go with, “I’m running a fever,” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.
这个故事告诉我们：如果你真的病了，那么就不用来上班，避免把病菌带给办公室的其他人；而如果你不想上班，想呆在家里，那么仅仅说“我发烧了”已经足够，不必动用以下这些奇葩请假借口：
1. I just put a casserole in the oven.
1. 我刚才把砂锅放进了烤箱。
2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.
2. 我的整形手术需要一些再长长才能更贴合。
3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.
3. 我坐在浴室时脚麻了，站起来时扭了脚。
4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
世界何时铸剑为犁4. 我整个周末都在，而现在身上还有钱，周一早上要继续赌。
5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
5. 我早上起来时心情非常好，不想破坏好心情。
6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.
6. 昨天晚上我有了“艳遇”，现在不知道自己身处何处。
7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
7. 我被杂货店的血压仪困住了，出不来。
8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.
8. 我得了胆结石，我想完全治愈。
9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
9. 我把自己的制服放进微波炉烘干，现在它着火了。
10. I accidentally got on a plane.
10.我不小心乘上了一架飞机。
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casserole ['kæsərəul]video
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n. 勺皿；砂锅菜；餐桌上用有盖的焙盘vi. 用焙盘焙
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tweak [twi:k]video
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n. 扭；拧；焦急vt. 扭；用力拉；开足马力
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ankle 中国音乐制作人排名['æŋkl]video
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n. 踝关节，踝
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uniform ['ju:nifɔ:m]夏季名牌女装video
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adj. 统一的；一致的；相同的；均衡的；始终如一的n. 制服vt. 使穿制服；使成一样
再见十月迎接十一月∙
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microwave ['maikrəuweiv]video
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n. 微波
麻了： denumbed, numb, cannot feel pain
-- Thank you!
-- No problem! It takes about 5-10 days to get the money to my bank account. If I don’t receive my money back within 10 days, call back and check what’s happening.
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